ABC news

Ok folks if you didn’t believe all the hype that we have created for this event, all you have to do is check out this link. ABC news covered one of their own, as he made it through the 12 miles, 30+ obstacle race. Pay close attention to the final obstacle “shock therapy”. The hanging wires knock a man down 2 times while trying to finish the race.

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/tough-mudder-15461971

check it out, feel free to post a comment. The day following the race will be a day I can’t wait to be a part of.

Q&A - What is this "Tough Mudder" Thing?

The Atwell Arsenal blog has seen a boom in popularity. In the last few days our website hits are up over 1 Million percent versus Monday and Tuesday, and the Twitter feed, @AtwellCleveland, is trending steadily higher. Truly we've tapped into something special here.

A question that's being repeatedly asked (twice counts as repeatedly) by our flocks of new followers is just what is this Tough Mudder race all about? Where is it? When is it? Did you make this all up?

To answer that last question first; NO. This is all very real. You're not living in the Matrix, this isn't Oz, and it's not all a dream. The Tough Mudder and the Atwell Arsenal are as real as apple pie, the American dream, and Santa Claus... at least the mall version.

Let's go to a quick Q&A session:

What is the Tough Mudder? - An endurance event like none other. One where you're not pitted against other racers and the clock, but instead one where you and the other competitors come together as one to combat a diabolical 10 to 15 mile course that's riddled with obstacles devised by members of the British Special forces. Mud pits. Underwater tunnels. 12 foot high walls. And more. Camaraderie and team work will be required to complete the trek. It's not a relay race, every participant will run, climb and crawl through every inch of the course. It's a team event, and we're all there to help each other. The Atwell Arsenal will start as a team and they will finish as a team. In a word, the Tough Mudder is “Awesome”.

(The Mudder Bars. Awesome.)

Where and when is the Tough Mudder? - The Ohio edition of the Tough Mudder will take place in and around the Quarries of South Amherst. The Atwell Arsenal will be taking on the course the morning of Saturday, April 14th , though the race will also be ran on Sunday the 15th.

How are you preparing for the Tough Mudder? - The standard answer is a combination of cardio and strength training, but different members are taking different strategies. Jicha is forgoing weights to try and become a distance runner and logging 2 to 6 mile runs three times a week, Justin is becoming a yogi (the stretching kind, not the bear), T-Russ is doing Insanity and putting miles on the treadmill in front of old samurai movie reruns, Erick is working out with his kids and doing his best to avoid abduction by terrorists, Steve is on a strict back exercise regiment, Tiana is keeping her training regime a closely guarded secret, Horwich has been hitting the stairmaster, and Bob-O is doing his own thing because this race is Patty-cake compared to his Army Ranger basic training.

(The Most Important Question) Once the race is over, where will the courageous and sexy members of the Atwell Arsenal be celebrating their triumph? - The victory party will be taking place the afternoon immediately following the race, with Strongsville's The Brew Kettle as the tentative celebration destination. Autographs available with advance reservations.

Now I know you're thinking... “Will these sarcastic jerks just give me a straight answer???”

No, we will not. However, we'll happily steer you to more serious accounts of the race.

First off, take a look at the official Tough Mudder page for the Ohio race. Here you'll find a map of the course and lots of other good info. http://toughmudder.com/events/Michigan/ For some reason the Tough Mudder race organizers are calling this the Michigan event, probably in honor of Bob-o and Justin. Also, TM's main page has an inspiring video to get you pumped up. You should also note that proceeds from the race go to the Wounded Warrior Project.

If you want a more in depth view of what this is all about, take a look at an obstacle-by-obstacle account of a race from last December. This write-up was the initial inspiration for creating a blog, so consider it our ancestor. Scroll down to find the post: http://www.garmachi.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?p=20786&highlight=&sid=191450e8d1388fe2848b459946df64af

Like what you see? Then leave a comment! Follow us on Twitter at @AtwellCleveland . Post a link to facebook. Or do all three!

Meet the Mudders - Bob-O

First Name: Bob
Last Name: CLASSIFIED
Middle Name: “O”
Mudder Name: Big & Beautiful (self proclaimed)
Rank: CLASSIFIED
Small countries ruled: Most
Inventor of: The Hoover Dam, hard plastics, Armor Piercing ammunition, Sharpies, the Sleeper Hold, gravity, and the cassette tape.
Favorite Music: anything David Bowie
Super Heroes that would rather be Bob: 1966 Batman and Robin

In the early 1960s, the United States government began work on a top secret program, codenamed H.E.R.C.U.L.E.S. (Human Embryo with Reinforced Circulatory, Unrivaled Leadership, and Espionage Systems)

The objective: to create a super soldier the likes of which had never been seen. One that never tired. One who could blend-in in any surrounding or setting. One that could kill a man seven ways with just his thumb.

After years of research and painstaking genetic engineering, subject Robert “Bob-O” was born. Half man, half amazing, the prototype far and away exceeded the project’s initial goals. The Pentagon immediately canceled all further work on project H.E.R.C.U.L.E.S., worried that having more than one in an American uniform could be seen as a violation of pacts outlined in the Geneva Convention.

As a 4 year old, Bob-O received his Kung Fu black belt from Master Wu in a Himalayan dojo. At 5 years he trapped his first grizzly with nothing more than 6 paperclips, 1 curly telephone cord, 3 mechanical pencils, and the neighbor’s cat. And at age 12 he became the youngest Army Ranger in history.

A series of successful black ops operations around the globe and in space won him the respect of high ranking members of the United States government. Thankfully, Bob-O was able to maintain his anonymity due to the confidential nature of his missions and never had to deal with paparazzi pressure.

(Photo Caption: Project H.E.R.C.U.L.E.S - Mission Accomplished)

In between covert operations, Bob-O served as Ronald Reagan’s personal advisor in settling all matters foreign and domestic. They became good friends and Bob-O was the first to call Reagan by his popular nickname, “The Gipper”.

is also directly responsible for the fall of Communism in Russia. 15 minutes prior to Reagan’s impassioned speech before the Berlin Wall, Bob-O made a phone call to the Kremlin where he was overheard saying “Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall… Or I’m going to burst into Moscow and rip that weird frickin’ spot thing off your head with my bare hands!”.

These days, Bob-O has gone into deep cover. His mission: economic recovery for the country through residential and commercial development, with a mix of energy initiatives for good measure. Some say he’s in Arizona building solar panels, others claim to have seen him in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest trying to find the next Starbucks to take nationwide, and conspiracy theorists claim he may be in Texas operating under the alias T. Boone Pickens. The latest rumor is that he’s commanding a new team of operatives to and through the Ohio edition of the Tough Mudder.

One thing is certain. Wherever he goes, inspired Americans and a trail of dead enemies will follow. Stay tuned!

BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN

For two days reports have been coming in over the wire so you may have already heard the rumors, but we are now in a position to confirm the following news release:

ERICK ALLEN HAS BEEN FOUND












That’s right, long time missing in action Mudder Erick Allen was rescued today from a still undisclosed location. Eye witnesses report seeing several Black Hawk helicopters escorting the Atwell Arsenal team member back to his family in Northern Ohio.

For those of you that haven’t been keeping up with this nationwide story, Erick Allen had been missing since December 15th when he’d last reported in via the Accountability Text Message system that he’d run “2+ miles.” And then the line went silent.

A little background on the Accountability Text Message system. The concept is a simple one. You complete a workout, you text the team. Example, Tim Russell has been lighting it up with a heavy dose of Insanity (an interval training program, Tim does not actually have a mental illness. Or so we assume...) So whenever he plows through an hour DVD, he'll fire a quick text to the group, something like “Insanity pure cardio = pure hell”. These texts keep us honest, and get us off our butts on those days when you just don't feel like giving it your all.

The sudden silence from Tough Mudder Allen, 37, was more than a little troubling. Either he was slacking on his workout and would end up being dead weight on the race course on 4/14/12… or the much more likely scenario, he’d been kidnapped by an international terrorist organization hell bent on the failure of the Atwell Arsenal along with the peace, justice, freedom, and rambunctiousness we all stand for.

A message on January 10th stating Erick had single handedly moved a 200 pound clothes washer up from his basement is now being credited to one Terry “Hulk” Hogan of Tampa, Florida. This was an honest mistake, as EA and HH bear a striking resemblance to one another.









A relieved Allen family helped Erick ease back into the rigors of a workout regime. A triumphant text went out later that night: “Dug out the old dumbbells. Arms. Shoulders. Stomach. 30 min.”

In order to ensure the terrorists did not make another attempt at apprehending their long lost teammate, the Atwell Arsenal immediately booked Allen on a flight aboard a single engine turbo-prop puddle jumper, destination “the middle of F-ing nowhere Pennsylvania”. There, EA will work-out in solitude until Seal Team Six takes care of this new matter of national security.

What is the Tough Mudder

http://toughmudder.com/

Tough Mudder events are hardcore 10-12 mile obstacle courses designed by British Special Forces to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit, and camaraderie. With the most innovative courses, half a million inspiring participants, and more than $2 million dollars raised for the Wounded Warrior Project, Tough Mudder is the premier adventure challenge series in the world.

Meet the Mudders!

The blog is one day old, but it's time to start a tradition. Between now and the race on April 14th, we'll profile a new team member every Wednesday. This may or may not go down without a hitch, but we'll do our damnedest. Without further adieu....

Name: Daniel “Yee-haw” Jicha

Height: 5’ 10.5443” (nearly rounds to 5’11”, but not quite)

Weight: 19 Stones

Max Bench Press: ¼ Ton

Claim to Fame: Four Time City of Bedford Pierogi Eating Champion (2004, 2007-08, 2011)

Best Suited for Which Mudder Obstacle: Turd’s Nest, or for throwing teammates over the Berlin Walls

# of Metallic Limbs: 1

Recovery Drink of Choice: Ginger Ale

Vehicle Color: Silver (grey and custom blue interior)

Favorite Meal: The Next One

If you could go on a date with any famous person, who would it be: Alexander Ovechkin

Memorable Quotes: “How does a kid from Coos Bay, with one leg longer than the other win races? All my life people have been telling me, 'You're too small Pre', 'You're not fast enough Pre', 'Give up your foolish dream Steve'. But they forgot something, I HAVE TO WIN”

How he’s going to celebrate completing the Tough Mudder: Finally get that Polish Eagle lower back tattoo

Dan grew up on the mean streets of Bedford Ohio where his fists and his wits got him out of many a jam. His blood is thick with weighlifting and football genes; genes that continually punish him via ruptured organs, torn ligaments, and shattered bones. Running laps was a necessary evil to stay fit, or a punishment for false starts.

Now that he’s taken up distance running and has been spending so much time in sissy Lakewood, he was recently heard saying he wanted to buy some tiny marathon shorts. That statement, more than any other in this farce of a profile post, is 100% true.

Dan brings to the team a confidence and swagger that could almost convince you he’s ready to run 12 miles. He is not. But he’s a veteran of multiple P90X campaigns, has swam over 1 mile in open water, and is attacking a training regime that would make an Olympian shudder. So what if that Olympian is a member of the U.S. Women’s Curling Team? She’s still an Olympian!

In his spare time Dan enjoys detailing his “whip”. Get your mind out of the gutter, apparently that's slang for “car”. In any case, his skill level remains low but as Dr. Horton is wont to say “Do your best, and forget the rest”.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Dan Jicha – Stalwart friend, brisket enthusiast, and stronger than 3 or 4 female Winter Olympians.

The Dawn of a New Era

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls! Step right up and witness the next great feat in human endurance!

Of what do I speak? Well let me answer your question with one of my own: What do you get when you mix marathon running, the American Gladiators, 80 proof alcohol, poorly drained soils with Liquidity Indexes exceeding 1 (that’s mud for you non-engineer types), and mental illness?

Ladies and Gentlemen, you get The Tough Mudder.

How does twelve grueling miles of running through the harsh early-spring conditions of an abandoned rock quarry in the Northeast Ohio tundra sound? Too easy? Intersperse that with 30 diabolical obstacles along the way. Obstacles like 12 foot vertical wall climbs, underwater tunnels, razor wire, and high voltage. How about now? That doing anything for you?

Just who would be crazy enough to attempt such a feat? That one’s easy. The Atwell Arsenal, that’s who.

Oh, you don’t know about the Atwell Arsenal? Well you’ve come to the right place. From now until April 14th, follow the exploits and exercise routines of the team as we attack the Ohio Tough Mudder with all our might.

Watch in wonderment as mild mannered office workers transform before your very eyes into chiseled, mohawked, Spartan warriors. See the blood, the sweat, the tears, and the beers that go into the training programs. Laugh with us, cry with us, encourage us on, and cheer loudly on the day of our victory. 50% dedication, 50% adrenaline junky, and 50% crazy, adding up to 150% pure badass.

The Atwell Arsenal. We let the dogs out.